Forever Learning

Published November 4, 2011 by chchunka

So, I have been out of the education scene for 5 years now. Trying to reconnect with the University, get accepted and try to do my best so that I can have a job I like. Right, a job I enjoy, that would be plan data entry. A job I can live on, a job that takes nothing from my essence. I am stingy with my creativity. I want it for my life, not some jack-off company. I want to put in my time and get money. I guess we are all prostitutes when it comes down to the knitty gritty.Thrive to live. Live to thrive.

Funny how I was the understanding the older we get the more self assured we are. Well that must be nice for those that end up that way. It isn’t happening here, well at least not lately. I have never done the “blog thing” before. I am quite a knuckle dragger over technology. Just about everyone around me lives and breathes it, even my kids are well advanced in the area. I only started  so  I can throw thoughts out there for the cyber nothingness. I write things I do not say out loud. I tend to give this “nothing bothers me” Ora.  which is a total farce. I really dislike most interaction with people, but I am good at acting that I might actually be enjoying myself.  I am slowly suffocating my being. this blog will ,hopefully, help me start to breathe again. I use to be so free and spontaneous. I feel way older than I am. I have been trying to overcome this “downy dumps” feeling, because in the long run, it truly pisses me off I am turning into a grumpy lady, who isn’t old, with no self esteem. because deep down, I know I am pretty fantastic…somewhere curled up in the heavy blanket of reality.

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